Do as I say, not as I do

Summary

Forrest has spent the last year plumbing the depths of Node for New Relic, as he brings support for Node to New Relic. It's a process that has required ingenuity, guile, and the willingness to break a lot of otherwise very sensible rules. He will take you on a tour of some of the more powerful but dangerous tools in the JavaScript toolbox: monkey patching, working with Node's internals, and mixing synchronous and asynchronous code without setting your hair on fire.